As a 40-year-old lesbian I’ve seen labia of many shapes and sizes, but I have but observe any since huge as mine. This has begun to influence my personal ability to appreciate gender, to the level that i can not climax with someone. Additionally, oral intercourse is actually my favourite thing, but we don’t relish it. In my opinion my vulva is actually unattractive, and my personal intimate confidence is actually low. We have thought about labiaplasty, but I’m worried surgical procedure would diminish sensation.

You might well have large labia compared to various other females you may have known, but that doesn’t mean you happen to be unusual, or that the labia tend to be unattractive towards partners. You really have spoken your self into this extremely adverse fixation (or simply you’ve been influenced by those who stand to profit through encouraging females to feel that their vaginal form, dimensions or colour is unsightly or unusual). But haven’t your own labia, and even all of your own vulva and vagina, supported you well in past times and delivered you and your associates enormous enjoyment? Why would that differ today? Stop focusing on size, and as an alternative consider – whether alone or with someone – to all the the beautiful sensations they offer. While making love, focus simply on offering and obtaining

satisfaction, just in case negative thoughts arise, intentionally see and prevent all of them. End up being proud of your own individuality, and then try to notice it as an optimistic feature; if you do, others will as well.

Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual problems.